To honor God in my writings

Posts tagged ‘marriage’

Leave and cleave part 2

Truth #3: It DESTROYS RELATIONSHIP.

One thing that men always say “My mom is kind. My wife won’t have a problem getting along with her.” How i wish this was true but this is not often the case.  We don’t understand the pressure that is put on our wives who has to conform and watch her every move. There is a hidden test being put on them to see if they are really good for my son.

I know some good moms who still don’t get along with their in-laws because of simple expectations that they have – like she should know how to cook and do household chores, and many other stereotypes that are so different from our culture today. The stereotype of a wife has had a big transformation. We now have working moms than just the typical house wife that cares for the home. We have women that are career oriented, managers of corporation, and so on.

These unmet expectations, no matter how small leads to misunderstanding and bitterness that builds up over the years. Ex. Wife can’t cook like mom-in-law so she doesn’t want a confrontation so she hides in the room which is then misinterpreted as disrespect… And the frustration just keeps on building up.

Problem with in-laws are specially encountered when it comes to raising children. There is a saying “grand children are reward for parents who didn’t kill their children.” So grandparents are enjoying their grandchildren and spoiling them, giving in to all their wants and demands. They don’t have the pressure of disciplining them which results to conflict with the parents. You would be blessed if you have grandparents that knows how to set limits and respect the jurisdiction of the parent’s role to discipline. If they have wise counsel and biblical strategies in sharing to you about parenting.

I have been traveling around the country and it a been the same stories whether in the province or
in Manila. These stories have the same outcome – strained or damaged relationships, emotional agony for the wife or a spouse that moves in.

Again, the argument of economical reason is too cheap to exchange for the value of relationships. God knows what the design for marriage is. This is an appeal for obedience to Leave and Cleave. Love your wives, save them from the pain that they should not have to bear. You don’t need to buy a house to obey. You can just rent if you like. The truth of the matter still remains the same Leave and Cleave. Then you will experience the joy of obedience. Financial management will be a different issue to tackle.

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LEAVE and CLEAVE part 1

Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh.

 

This is the first biblical principle we can learn about marriage.  But let us explore some of the common arguments that we give in order to avoid following this principle.

 

Argument # 1: Economical – save expenses from ren to buy or build our own house.

Truth # 1:  God’s economy is different from our economy.

Truth # 2: God’s blessings follow obedience to His will.

 

God does not give us a command for us to follow and just leave us on our own strength to do it.  But in His every command, there are blessings connected with it.  God blesses us for every step of faith and obedience that we do / take.

 

Career and Marriage: I started working with a starting salary of 10k peso gross a month.  I left and opted to help in our family business and starting a new frontier in Davao and General Santos along with my dad.  It was a clean slate, we had 0 sales for several trips.  In 2002 as we plan for our marriage, we learned about the biblical portrait of marriage by Dr Bruce Wilkinson – Leave and Cleave.  After we heard that message, we were thinking of the pros and the cons like this common argument that we have.  But still we decided to obey God’s design and started looking for a house.  We were getting disappointed because we couldn’t find a good house with a good location.  Still we trusted God.  For Chinese culture, it is a fear of the children to ask permission from their parents to live on their own because their parents might be insulted.  When we told our parents about it, they gave us their blessing.

 

God’s commands are tied up with His promises.  In His time, my mom and dad were able to find a “not so old house” with a great location.  The size was twice and the price was half of a brand new one.  It was really a bargain though we still had to renovate the interior.  Truly God is amazing at providing when we follow His will.

 

Next paying for the house:  Again, God provided and increased my sales with the suppliers that He has given me.  My wife got promoted at work too.  Despite of the increases in income, we sacrificed from spending money for our pleasure and luxury and devoted all our earnings in paying off our mortgages because we believe in a debt-free lifestyle.

 

In all these years, we didn’t fail to “return” our tithes (10% of our income) to God.  We saw His faithfulness and provision year after year until we were debt free – The blessing of faith and obedience to our Almighty God.  He is our Great Provider and He is in control.  As we near the end of our mortgage, He gave us our first son.  What a great bonus and perfect timing.

 

I encourage you once more – Trust in God’s promises – He will never leave you nor forsake you.  If you follow His commands, He will provide for you, He will enable and empower you to abide in His principles.  Our wisdom and economics are foolishness compared to His wisdom and His economy.  Again, God’s blessings follows obedience to His will.

 

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Love my Wife

thI attended the wedding of a friend this morning. It was a heart warming processional by the bride while marching to the music of “The Prayer”. With the thought of their love story in mind, culminating in this union of hearts and lives. The heart’s desire to enter marriage with the one you love. What a JOY!

I am reminded of the romantic love that i started with Maggie. We have been married for 10years. It seems that the romantic sweet love is being replaced by the realities of life – the chores, the duties, the responsibilities of the family. Adding to the fire are misunderstanding, unmet needs, disrespecting one another. (Don’t get me wrong, Maggie is a wonderful wife though, almost perfect. She is God’s blessing to me.) Our love for each other day before, the “kilig” moments that sweethearts feel isn’t there anymore and it seems cheesy when you watch younger people having. I even think to myself – wait till your marriage, you’ll see.

And so God reminds me again, as a leader of the family to love first. I need to anchor my relationship on God, draw strength from Him so that i may overflow with His love. And as i spent time with God in prayer, crying out to Him with my pain, my needs. His presence filled me with His peace, His joy, His love, His forgiveness. I confess my shortcomings to Him for my wife and children, asking Him to bless us as we start anew. As i commit to God again, to love my wife, be gentle and patient with her And the kids with my words and actions, not to be hot tempered. Restoring our love into the sweet stage is not optional. It is a MUST and it is God’s will for all of our families so that we can be use for His glory and honor. With God all things are possible!

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