To honor God in my writings

Posts tagged ‘love your wife’

V-day, so what?

Valentines Day – I’m not a fan of this occasion. My wife doesn’t like flowers. She considers it a waste of money as it is expensive and withers in just a few days. However, as I reflected on my own selfish love – the desire of just “get, get, get” and all about me, I decided to not be selfish for this time and show appreciation to my wife by giving her flowers and buying her a gift. I set my plan in motion 2 days before V-day.

I made an alibi that I needed to go to the office that day, so I can be alone and buy these stuff. However, I was tasked to bring my son and daughter to the doctor’s clinic as it is near the office. We went and then dropped by the office to do some things. Afterwards, we hurriedly drove to the flower shop to buy flowers. Not 1 dozen red roses because it was expensive, so I settled for the minimum – 3pcs. This was so that my wife wouldn’t be bothered by the high cost of it and tell me it’s a waste of money. We then proceeded to the mall to buy my wife’s gift. My 12 year old son was also excited and helped me with the choices.

By 12 noon, she was already texting where we were since we’re supposed to have lunch at home. We arrived after awhile and I gave her the flowers and the gift, gave her a hug and a kiss.

What I didn’t know was the effect of this gesture to my children. How would they see a husband loving their wife if I don’t demonstrate it. I decided to ask my daughter about it and she said “I am happy because I can see that you love mommy.” i asked her again, “Why? Don’t I love mommy, if I don’t give her these things?” She replied “You still do.” It was just more visual for them, more tangible rather then abstract.

Cassie Carsten said husband needs to provide emotional security at home and this is done by husband loving his wife, the children’s mother. Celebrating her, cherishing her, appreciating her, and loving her in words and deeds. This is a profound example by which our children learn to love their spouses in the future. A simple gesture and yet has a profound impact through modeling.

#TWNAF-AFatherProvidesEmotionalSecurity

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I DO, Cherish You

It was a blessed time yesterday at the Before and After I Do 2018 seminar. Despite hearing these topics for numerous times (at least 8 times). God broke me yesterday and showed me all my sins: #1 Pride (from the transparency and authenticity of the speakers, sharing their struggles and life testimonies), #2 He showed me how distant Maggie and I were and how far we have drifted apart. I was reminded of how she was my best friend and how she became an enemy (Topic on Communication). I was humbled by God and that night, I repented to my children, my wife, and especially to Him, with whom I have sinned the most. I had a wonderful intimate conversation with my wife that night. I have hidden my thoughts from her because I was afraid of being judged and conflict might arise. I admitted to her of how she was right all along and I just didn’t want to listen to her because of my pride and insecurities. I ended the conversation with a renewal of my marriage vow to her – “I promise to cherish, nurture, and love you as Christ love the church. You are the love of my life. ”

Today is a new beginning for us as a family. I accepted the fact that I have drifted away from intimacy with God and my wife because of gadget (games and social media), my insecurities, view differences, hurts, and so on. I chose to forgive and let go of the hurts (Topic 3), asked her for forgiveness: for being a lousy husband. I have not loved her as Christ loved the church, which is unconditionally and sacrificially (Topic #1). I was selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed.

But in all this, I go back and thank God for the hope, His mercy, His faithfulness, and His steadfast love through Jesus Christ my Lord. Praise Him and glory to Him alone for the Nth chance that He has given me.

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” – Luke 6:45 (NIV)

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