To honor God in my writings

Posts tagged ‘father’

Fatherhood

I became a father 9 years ago. I’m blessed to have a son and a 5year old daughter. Initially, I had been very eager to attend seminars and read books to learn more about parenting. But as time went by, I became complacent and felt everything is well.

Last night, my wife and I talked about discipleship of people and the family… It was a really tough time. The truth is really uncomfortable and hurting to hear, accept, and process. What makes it difficult is knowing the problem and not knowing what to do and how to change.

I’ve tried different ministries in church.  I found myself drawn to teaching kids in Sunday School and enjoyed doing it. So when I am home, I continued to be a teacher. Since we are homeschooling, I teach my son history and science. I train him how to be orderly, responsible, and a good steward of possessions… I help him in his violin and drum lessons, even swimming lessons. I tell him his mistakes with how he bows, how he hold his sticks, how he should behave and act… From being happy, i became impatient to irritated to annoyed to grumpy to angry. It became a way of life. He doesn’t listen to my advice. “Didn’t i tell you so?” I often sigh in frustration.

After the conversation with my wife, I asked God to change me… But how? I surrendered to Him and a thought came to me. I am a mediocre in everything and yet I advice and teach him like a professional and expect him to be perfect. “Your children doesn’t need a teacher nor a coach nor a drill sergeant. WHAT THEY NEED IS A FATHER.” That was a profound thought. It shook me to the core. All the while, I thought I was being a dad to them by being there and teaching them everything they need to know about life. But the truth is, they won’t learn everything from me. As I asked, “How can I be a father to my children?”, I realized I didn’t have much of an experience having a father around.  My dad was always out of town. I have no idea how to be a good dad. The next day, I apologized to my son about being too hard on him and about not being a father to him. It’s the start of a new day.  With this new realization, i changed my gear from being a teacher to a father. 

I thank God for an upcoming seminar by Cassie Carstens – “The World Needs a Father” on October 27-29.  Amazing timing! I’m so excited to attend and learn from this 2 and a half day seminar at the CCF Center.  Admission is free with a ticket to Counterflow, a whole day parenting seminar for different family types, happening on Oct 24.  My prayer is “Lord, My cup is empty.  Fill me and renew me.  Teach me to be the father that you want me to be.”

God bless and hope to see you there, DADS.

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