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Posts tagged ‘dealing with children’

Perspective on Anger

From the previous article, i shared about my anger with my son for his disobedience with a simple and easy command that i asked him to do.

2 Truth about Anger
1) Anger doesn’t make them Realize their mistakes
2) Anger doesn’t make them Resolve to do what’s right

Jam 1:20 (Esv)
20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Anger only aggravates the situation, and shifts the focus to a different thing. What are some constructive way to deal with the situation? Here are some suggestions: 3Rs
1) Reflect on their attitude and actions – we should stop what we’re asking them to do, whether studying, assignments, or a chore, and give them a time out. Let them go to a place so they can think and deal with their issues in the heart and then come back when their ready. With a  calm voice, we issue a command once, if they don’t follow – time out. So do not need to get angry before you give them a time out.

2) Reassure them of God’s and your unconditional love – when they come back from their time out and have regained a better perspective, we can now communicate with them how much we love them and how we want to develop their character – responsibility, diligence, and so on. Reassuring them that we love them no matter what. We love them not only when they get high grades or when they are well behaved. If God loved us like that then all of us will cease to exist since we’re so hard headed ourselves, stiff-necked as the Bible puts it.

3) Restore them to their true identity – criticisms whether constructive or destructive are hurtful and painful. Truth hurts. That is why we need to elevate them and encourage them to be all that God want them to be. We as parents want our kids to excel and achieve what God has purposed for their lives. First, we need to share God’s love to them through Jesus’ finished work on the cross so that they may receive forgiveness and adoption as sons of God. Secondly, as heirs of the promise, we need to teach them to act in a worthy manner of their calling. We can never be there with them 24/7, that is why we need to lift them up to God in prayer. Pray for their heart, their character, and their future. God is our partner in raising our kids up. We need to do our part in instilling His words in their hearts so that when they grow old , they will not depart from it.

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