To honor God in my writings

Posts tagged ‘a father provides security’

V-day, so what?

Valentines Day – I’m not a fan of this occasion. My wife doesn’t like flowers. She considers it a waste of money as it is expensive and withers in just a few days. However, as I reflected on my own selfish love – the desire of just “get, get, get” and all about me, I decided to not be selfish for this time and show appreciation to my wife by giving her flowers and buying her a gift. I set my plan in motion 2 days before V-day.

I made an alibi that I needed to go to the office that day, so I can be alone and buy these stuff. However, I was tasked to bring my son and daughter to the doctor’s clinic as it is near the office. We went and then dropped by the office to do some things. Afterwards, we hurriedly drove to the flower shop to buy flowers. Not 1 dozen red roses because it was expensive, so I settled for the minimum – 3pcs. This was so that my wife wouldn’t be bothered by the high cost of it and tell me it’s a waste of money. We then proceeded to the mall to buy my wife’s gift. My 12 year old son was also excited and helped me with the choices.

By 12 noon, she was already texting where we were since we’re supposed to have lunch at home. We arrived after awhile and I gave her the flowers and the gift, gave her a hug and a kiss.

What I didn’t know was the effect of this gesture to my children. How would they see a husband loving their wife if I don’t demonstrate it. I decided to ask my daughter about it and she said “I am happy because I can see that you love mommy.” i asked her again, “Why? Don’t I love mommy, if I don’t give her these things?” She replied “You still do.” It was just more visual for them, more tangible rather then abstract.

Cassie Carsten said husband needs to provide emotional security at home and this is done by husband loving his wife, the children’s mother. Celebrating her, cherishing her, appreciating her, and loving her in words and deeds. This is a profound example by which our children learn to love their spouses in the future. A simple gesture and yet has a profound impact through modeling.

#TWNAF-AFatherProvidesEmotionalSecurity

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How Do I Love Thee…

Do you love your wife? Or do you love your children? Yes, of course I love my wife! That’s why I married her in the first place. Of course I love my children. And so I thought…

At one point in my life, I wanted to be a doctor. Since it takes a very long time to be financially stable and to marry, I opted not to. I wanted to marry at a young age so that I can get what most men desire, sex. Because of this “expectation”, I have given my wife the power to make me happy and make me unhappy. I will treat my wife nicely, give her flowers, bring her on a date… For what purpose? That same purpose in mind. I do something for her so that I can get what I want or need. Don’t get me wrong, we need to treat our wives like queens of course. So as we explore my real motives – I DO NOT LOVE MY WIFE, I LOVE MYSELF. My love is selfish. I loved for me – to get.

As I learned this from the seminar, I broke down… I realized why I was so angry at home lately or most of the time because I love myself. I went home, I talked to my children one by one. With tears I said, “I’m sorry, I have been selfish… I loved myself that is why daddy has been so angry with you…” My daughter first, then my son. After they slept, then to my wife. I have given them the power to make me unhappy because of my selfish love, my unmet expectations. My expectations were high and so my disappointments and frustrations were many too and that made me irritated and annoyed with a single mistake they make.

In contrast to my love, God’s love is unconditional, uni-directional, and has no expectations. HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES YOU. He loves us no matter what. Romans 5:8 says “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” He didn’t tell us to be good first before He would die for us. He didn’t die because we were righteous. He died because HE LOVE US, you and me. Despite of our past, despite of our sins, and despite of our failures, God’s love is unconditional. He doesn’t love you because you are talented. Your talents are nothing to him. He can make the rocks and the rivers do His bidding. There is nothing that I can do for God that will make Him love me less or love me more. His love is not based on our performance so we can relax in His love. Doing His will in our lives is important, but you can be rested as you do it because He tells you “I love you, my son.”, “I love you, my daughter.” Nothing you can do to make Him love you less because He has given you His Son, Jesus, as the ultimate sacrifice to redeem us from sin and slavery. He has set us free to receive this love of His. GOD LOVES ME unconditionally. And that is how we must love: un-expecting, unconditional, uni-directional.

We cannot love like this apart from God. Do you want to have His kind of love? If you like to receive it, you can do so today. Just pray from the bottom of your heart something like this – God, thank you for your unconditional love for me, sacrificing Jesus to die on the cross to save me. Forgive me for all my sins. Thank you for your forgiveness. I need your love in my heart. Come Lord Jesus, be my master and my Savior. Help me be the person that you want me to be. Fill me with your love, so that I can love my family as you do. In Jesus name, amen.

Welcome to God’s family. May God’s peace, joy, and love rest in you and your family. For the rest of us, may God continue to fill us so that we may be able to love our wives and children selflessly, and serving them with joy. God bless.

#TheWorldNeedsAFather – A Father Provides Security part 1

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