It was a blessed time yesterday at the Before and After I Do 2018 seminar. Despite hearing these topics for numerous times (at least 8 times). God broke me yesterday and showed me all my sins: #1 Pride (from the transparency and authenticity of the speakers, sharing their struggles and life testimonies), #2 He showed me how distant Maggie and I were and how far we have drifted apart. I was reminded of how she was my best friend and how she became an enemy (Topic on Communication). I was humbled by God and that night, I repented to my children, my wife, and especially to Him, with whom I have sinned the most. I had a wonderful intimate conversation with my wife that night. I have hidden my thoughts from her because I was afraid of being judged and conflict might arise. I admitted to her of how she was right all along and I just didn’t want to listen to her because of my pride and insecurities. I ended the conversation with a renewal of my marriage vow to her – “I promise to cherish, nurture, and love you as Christ love the church. You are the love of my life. ”
Today is a new beginning for us as a family. I accepted the fact that I have drifted away from intimacy with God and my wife because of gadget (games and social media), my insecurities, view differences, hurts, and so on. I chose to forgive and let go of the hurts (Topic 3), asked her for forgiveness: for being a lousy husband. I have not loved her as Christ loved the church, which is unconditionally and sacrificially (Topic #1). I was selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed.
But in all this, I go back and thank God for the hope, His mercy, His faithfulness, and His steadfast love through Jesus Christ my Lord. Praise Him and glory to Him alone for the Nth chance that He has given me.
“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” – Luke 6:45 (NIV)